Mittwoch, 16. März 2016

Best ways to lose your job during the probationary period

During the probationary period, you are supposed to do your best in order to prove to your employer that they were smart in picking you out for the job. After all, your goal is getting an unlimited contract at the end. But what if during this probationary period it becomes clear to you that you don’t want this particular job anymore, because colleagues and superiors as well as your tasks get on your nerves? Don’t worry, if you follow our (decidedly not serious) advice, you will be out of that job in no time. But should you like it (and we sincerely hope you do), then do the exact opposite. 

1. Be unreliable! Ignore the tasks that seem beneath you, be late on a regular basis and don’t even bother keeping up with established deadlines. It will definitely make you look bad!

2. Be a know-it-all! Did you notice that not everything runs smoothly in your company? And didn’t everybody just wait for the newbie, who changes all that in his first week and tells everybody how it should be done? Don’t hold your opinions back!

3. Start flirting with the staff immediately! The new co-worker looks nice? Fortunately, a new job is a new opportunity for dating! Forget about paying for those online platforms for singles, you can have that for free at the office.

4. Ask for a two week vacation! All the job interviews and that whole selection process must have worn you out, not to mention the tons of new information you’ve had to absorb during your first week on the new job. Perfect timing for a little vacation to recharge your batteries! You don’t want to lose all your energy already, do you?

5. Do your part in spreading office gossip! Identify those co-workers, who are best informed about the private lives of the others, get all the info and spread it as soon as possible. Everybody will trust you immensely!

6. Don’t admit to making mistakes! Do you remember primary school, when you used the excuse of your dog eating your homework? Unfortunately, you can’t do that anymore, but you can blame a lot of mistakes on technology. Or on the colleague, who didn’t want to lend you a helping hand. Remember: it’s never your fault!

7. Reject feedback! You were hired because you were the best candidate for the job, weren’t you? Then why would you need any advice from others? They are the ones who should be listening to you.

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